What do you do when you realise that you're not a good person? That all these years you spent thinking you're the nicest person this Earth has ever seen, was a lie? What do you do when you realise you're cruel? That you hurt people, intentionally mostly. What do you do when you realise that everything you do harms one person or the other?
Do you forgive yourself? Or do you continue living the same way? Do you try to become a better person?
I know not.
I think this is the worst realisations of them all. When you finally realise that you're a bad person. That you have been hurting the people you claim to love, so brutally.
And so I finally stopped looking in the mirror. Because what I saw scared me. It was as though I had seen a ghost. I couldn't recognize the person in the mirror. All I could see was a faint memory of who I used to be. Who I could never be, again.
I don't know what happened to the girl who cared about others. But I think, a part of her died when she was five, on a cool summer night.
All that remained of her now were shattered pieces of who she used to be. She still became that person, at times. But for the most part, she wasn't the same anymore. Infact, she did not know who she was anymore.
A part of her wanted to run away. Like she always has done. Like she did, that night. But her brain got the better of her, she needed to stay. And fight.
Do you forgive yourself? Or do you continue living the same way? Do you try to become a better person?
I know not.
I think this is the worst realisations of them all. When you finally realise that you're a bad person. That you have been hurting the people you claim to love, so brutally.
And so I finally stopped looking in the mirror. Because what I saw scared me. It was as though I had seen a ghost. I couldn't recognize the person in the mirror. All I could see was a faint memory of who I used to be. Who I could never be, again.
I don't know what happened to the girl who cared about others. But I think, a part of her died when she was five, on a cool summer night.
All that remained of her now were shattered pieces of who she used to be. She still became that person, at times. But for the most part, she wasn't the same anymore. Infact, she did not know who she was anymore.
A part of her wanted to run away. Like she always has done. Like she did, that night. But her brain got the better of her, she needed to stay. And fight.
